“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.”
Robert Holden, PhD.
If you find you can’t keep a relationship in a healthy place – peaceful, feeling connected and safe, then you might want to start looking within first. Sometimes when we align ourselves with our values and take stock of what we want and what we’re doing in our relationships, we learn how to communicate our needs and wants more effectively.
Ask yourself these questions, answering as honestly as possible (it’s for your eyes only):
- What do you value most in relationships? Is it trust, sense of humor, respect? Write out everything you value.
- Now, look at your current relationships (all of them, not just the romantic ones), how many relationships do you have right now that honor those values?
- What are the most important things you have learned from past relationships: the negative and positive aspects.
- Look at one particular current relationship: what are three things that are working well? Now name three things that you would like to improve.
Sometimes we come to realize that we are struggling with relationships because we honestly don’t know how to relate with anyone, not even ourselves. There might be childhood trauma or relationship trauma that gets in the way. We might be overwhelmed with anxiety, depression, or lack of self-esteem. These may require more than journaling. Call me to set up a free consultation. We’ll figure out together what is getting in the way of healthy, lasting relationships for you.
